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I saw something awesome. A milkshake. I think this one cost me between $1.50 and $2. Now, when I first saw it, I was amazed to find that it had almost as many calories as a Quarter Pounder with Cheese. I had to try it.

Now, a normal milkshake is composed of ice cream and milk. I think. And cookies. This one uses some sort of thickener to simulate the frozen-ness of ice cream. It isn’t even remotely healthy for you. And, like all things not good for you, it’s delicious. Just like a milkshake, not as cold. Also, not very much. It’s only like 1/3 the size of a McDonalds milkshake. 1/2 the price. Better tasting though. After drinking two of these (the Vanilla one was almost as delicious), you actually feel full. In a non-good way. Like you just ate an entire box of little-debbies (yes I know what that feels like).

 

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Everyone knows that guy. It’s snowing out heavily, it’s raining hard. Visibility is reduced. It’s generally crappy out. The driving conditions are already bad. This guy thinks he can do one more thing to make himself likely to get in an accident. Not have his lights on. This same guy probably isn’t wearing a seat belt, and doesn’t use their blinkers. They also have a snow mohawk (pictured left) on the top of their car.

They don’t realize how much of a danger they are to other drivers. They don’t know how much more visible they are when they have their lights on. Especially if they are a white car. As a driver of a car without automatic lights, I understand that sometimes you forget to turn on your lights, I’ve done that before even at night! But, when there is a blizzard going on, and I’m flashing my lights at you because yours aren’t on, please turn yours on. For both of our sakes. When you’re on the side of the road 2 miles ahead because you were going 50 in a 30, and your lights are still off, guess who’s driving right past you? THIS GUY. I may even flash my lights at you as I drive by.

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So another year has passed. This is the type of thing that I started doing last year and will continue this year as well. Since I haven’t had any ads on the site, I have only earned $38.00 this year in ad revenue. Here’s the breakdown:

Total Ad Revenue: $88.00

Total expenses: $80

Now, all money that is earned on this site goes directly into the site itself, I don’t make anything. So if I make more than normal, I will just put it into extended domain registration. Any excess (likely to never actually happen) will be donated directly to charity.

 

So, after being hacked, I learned a valuable lesson: UPDATE WORDPRESS! A shiny new theme later, and we’re mostly back in action. There are still some things I want to do to the website to make all fancy again (like getting ads running!), but it’s now operable. From now on, new content will arrive in no fancy order. There isn’t going to be a schedule. As such I am un-closing down any of the categories that I have closed in the past. I will create new posts when I feel the calling to.

New content will be scheduled to show up on wednesdays, at whatever time of day I finished making it. There isn’t necessarily going to be a new post every Wednesday, as I am a busy man. If anyone wants to contribute, feel free to contact me. I can even make you an account! Things will be a little rough around the edges, and if you notice any problems or have any suggestions, feel free to air them. Thanks for reading!

 

GrapeShield.com was hacked and I lost control of the site. Due to an epic case of procrastination, I never actually bothered to fix it. I just worked with my friends over at chemicalservers.com and everythings running better than ever! Expect some more content in the future, and have a Merry Christmas!

 

Click here for screenshot.

 

Laugh!

Many years ago, Norman Cousins was diagnosed as “terminally ill.” He was given six months to live. His chance for recovery was one in 500.

He could see the worry, depression and anger in his life contributed to, and perhaps helped cause, his disease. He wondered, “If illness can be caused by negativity, can wellness be created by positivity?”

He decided to make an experiment of himself. Laughter was one of the most positive activities he knew. He rented all the funny movies he could find – Keaton, Chaplin, Fields, the Marx Brothers. (This was before VCRs, so he had to rent the actual films.) He read funny stories. He asked his friends to call him whenever they said, heard or did something funny.

His pain was so great he could not sleep. Laughing for 10 solid minutes, he found, relieved the pain for several hours so he could sleep.

He fully recovered from his illness and lived another 20 happy, healthy and productive years. (His journey is detailed in his book, Anatomy of an Illness.) He credits visualization, the love of his family and friends, and laughter for his recovery.

Some people think laughter is a waste of time. It is a luxury, they say, a frivolity, something to indulge in only every so often.

Nothing could be further from the truth. Laughter is essential to our equilibrium, to our well-being, to our aliveness. If we’re not well, laughter helps us get well; if we are well, laughter helps us stay that way.

Since Cousins’ ground-breaking subjective work, scientific studies have shown that laughter has a curative effect on the body, the mind and the emotions.

So, if you like laughter, consider it sound medical advice to indulge in it as often as you can. If you don’t like laughter, then take your medicine – laugh anyway.

Use whatever makes you laugh – movies, sitcoms, Monty Python, records, books, New Yorker cartoons, jokes, friends.

Give yourself permission to laugh – long and loud and out loud – whenever anything strikes you as funny. The people around you may think you’re strange, but sooner or later they’ll join in even if they don’t know what you’re laughing about.

Some diseases may be contagious, but none is as contagious as the cure. . . laughter.

By Peter McWilliams
from Chicken Soup for the Surviving Soul
Copyright 1996 by Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, Patty Aubery & Nancy Mitchell, R.N.

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This concludes ‘Season 3′ of GCFL.net Jokes on GrapeShield.com.

 

 

Think!

In a rest room at TIRR in the Houston Medical Center, a floor supervisor had placed a sign directly above the sink. It had a single word on it — “THINK!”

The next day, when he went to the rest room, he looked at the sign and right below, immediately above the soap dispenser, someone had carefully lettered another sign which read — “THOAP!”

Received from Marsha in Texas.

Want more? Sign up for the http://www.gcfl.net list, which will get you daily jokes like this, for free! info@gcfl.net


 

 

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